DIFFUSING CHALLENGING BEHAVIORS: It's ALL about Customer Service!
Angry or frustrated students are some of the biggest challenges in the classroom. Students with these emotions can sap energy and leave the teacher and other students in a downward spiral, feeling helpless. What can be done in the heat of the moment?
Take a cue from the business community: Engage Your Best Customer Service Skills
Here are five steps to stay in control and diffuse the situation:
First, let the student vent. Give the student a moment to cool off and then ask if he or she is ready to talk. If not, walk away from the "negative space" and carry on with your lesson!
When you have another break, ask the student to move to a semi-private space within the room or outside of the room. Your role at this point is to listen to the complaint. While listening, do your best to paraphrase the student's remarks - even repeat back the problem word for word. Ask clarifying questions, as needed. Make sure you fully grasp the underlying issues before proceeding with solution finding.
Second, avoid answering emotion with emotion. Do your best to maintain an even tone and a low volume. Try not to take the anger personally. Sometimes students are expecting a "parent voice" from you and will keep behaving like a child having a temper tantrum. Instead, offer patience and willingness to help once the student is calm. Check out the "language of negotiation" document at the bottom of this page. Take phrases from the "adult voice" column to keep you in neutral territory.
Third, ask the student for ways to handle the situation so that all parties may be satisfied. If the student won't respond, ask permission to share some ideas. Give the student a few options and let him or her choose the next course of action.
Fourth, apologize if you have helped create the situation or made the situation worse, even unknowingly.
Fifth, help the student take responsibility for his or her actions by sharing expectations for rectifying the situation. This may warrant a deeper discussion during a detention served after school. You may also need to enlist the help of conflict resolution or guidance personnel. Whatever you do, make sure you follow through. After a day or two, ask if things have improved. If the student has handled him or herself in a mature fashion, make sure to compliment that new behavior.
Take a cue from the business community: Engage Your Best Customer Service Skills
Here are five steps to stay in control and diffuse the situation:
First, let the student vent. Give the student a moment to cool off and then ask if he or she is ready to talk. If not, walk away from the "negative space" and carry on with your lesson!
When you have another break, ask the student to move to a semi-private space within the room or outside of the room. Your role at this point is to listen to the complaint. While listening, do your best to paraphrase the student's remarks - even repeat back the problem word for word. Ask clarifying questions, as needed. Make sure you fully grasp the underlying issues before proceeding with solution finding.
Second, avoid answering emotion with emotion. Do your best to maintain an even tone and a low volume. Try not to take the anger personally. Sometimes students are expecting a "parent voice" from you and will keep behaving like a child having a temper tantrum. Instead, offer patience and willingness to help once the student is calm. Check out the "language of negotiation" document at the bottom of this page. Take phrases from the "adult voice" column to keep you in neutral territory.
Third, ask the student for ways to handle the situation so that all parties may be satisfied. If the student won't respond, ask permission to share some ideas. Give the student a few options and let him or her choose the next course of action.
Fourth, apologize if you have helped create the situation or made the situation worse, even unknowingly.
Fifth, help the student take responsibility for his or her actions by sharing expectations for rectifying the situation. This may warrant a deeper discussion during a detention served after school. You may also need to enlist the help of conflict resolution or guidance personnel. Whatever you do, make sure you follow through. After a day or two, ask if things have improved. If the student has handled him or herself in a mature fashion, make sure to compliment that new behavior.
Adapted from Meredith Estep's "Five Ways to Diffuse Angry Customers," http://www.unitiv.com/intelligent-help-desk-blog/bid/64923/Five-Ways-to-Diffuse-an-Angry-Customer, 2011.
AVOIDING UNNECESSARY CONFLICTS with STUDENTS:
YOUR WORDS MAKE the DIFFERENCE!
YOUR WORDS MAKE the DIFFERENCE!
Students misbehave or make poor choices for many reasons:
- The desire to impress someone
- Not getting enough sleep
- Trouble or conflict with another student
- Girlfriend or boyfriend problems
- The lesson isn't challenging enough
- The lesson is too challenging
- The lesson doesn't seem relevant to students' lives or goals
- It's the week before any major holiday or break
- It's the week of an important event, dance, or game
- Feeling threatened
- Headache, stomachache, hunger
- Rebelling against authority
- Troubled home life
Stay in Control by Asking WHAT Questions:
- What happened?
- What should have happened?
- What can you do to fix it?
- What do you think should happen next?
- What do you think is an appropriate consequence?
- What resources do you have to help you avoid this situation in the future?
Avoid a Power Struggle by Using the Language of Negotiation:
Adapted from Ruby Payne
the_language_of_negotiation.teacher_to_student.doc |
Responding to Minor Annoyances
Excuses, objections, complaints... many of these behaviors can be eliminated if we take time to listen, diagnose what the student needs, and respond appropriately.
Check out the chart below to assist you in nixing the down-time!
Check out the chart below to assist you in nixing the down-time!
excuses_objections_and_complaints.doc |